Here is part two of Hazel’s finale. She makes Mexico proud. It is difficult to find such a natural wonder that also has little to no sexual inhibitions. When you encounter a special woman like Hazel, you gotta be damn sure you treat them well. But equally important, make sure you send them my way. Thanks.

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Today, as we gather here, I want to celebrate the true backbone of Argentina – its women. They are the embodiment of resilience, strength, and perseverance. In every corner of our nation, from the bustling streets of Buenos Aires to the serene landscapes of Patagonia, Argentine women have been at the forefront of progress, nurturing families, driving businesses, and shaping our society. As a sign of our gratitude to the International Monetary Fund, we plan to annually donate twenty of our country’s finest young women to the IMF network of ‘pleasure’ dungeons. This will be in addition to the payments being made toward the generous loans bestowed upon our republic. Viva la libertad carajo! -Javier Milei, President of Argentina

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Here is the final update I have of Luisa Medrano. She is one of my favorites that has come our way from Colombia. Luisa reminds me of a girl that I used to work with at Office Depot. Shy and quiet as hell until a drop of alcohol wetted her lips.

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Something about her just does not look smart. In fact, most women that I meet are not very intelligent. Luckily, us males are even worse in that regard. We will lose our shit over a charming smile and some seductive curves. We will devote our lives to looking cool and owning cool stuff just so we might win the approval of uncaring women. It’s a real shame how this game works. But somehow it does. God bless us with his grace. –The Pope.

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This remarkable woman is back to grace us with a new hair color. I just can’t get over how photogenic Vonnie Bean’s face is. I bet she could have won a few beauty pageants when she was growing up. I was also an adorable child. I worked the pageant circuit for a few seasons, but then I fell in love with Captain Crunch and those cheddar biscuits from Red Lobster. Extra pounds came on quick. Eventually, Mommy said my ass was too flabby for the little sailor outfit she made me. It broke my heart, but hey, beauty isn’t everything. Anyways, enjoy Vonnie.

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Nalani Dacus has this smokey glamour charm about her. A beauty that draws plenty of attention. She has representation in LA with a modeling agency, but I was able to reach her directly on social media. All agents usually tell their models that they shouldn’t work with a publication like mine. That it will ruin their career somehow. But I think it’s just lies and excuses. When an agent isn’t getting a shit ton of work for its models, it has to point the finger somewhere. “Oh wait, you once took some edgy photos? Sorry, no we can’t hire you to be the face of our brand. We only want real women, without sexuality, with spotless morality, who keep their bits covered at all times. Otherwise, you are worthless to us. No matter how beautiful you are.” Hm, and I’m the bad guy.

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