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Damn, Zach. It is hella cool that you made this job for yourself. I go to work everyday, dreading existence. I have begun a gradual process of poisoning myself. As part of my daily routine, I take a dropper of hydrochloric acid and give my coffee a generous squirt. I started out only adding a drop or two, but over the past few weeks I have built up to a much higher dose. The tummy tingle is an oddly pleasant sensation. Anyways, let me know if you ever need an assistant or something, it could be a real gamechanger for me. If not, I totally understand. Perhaps you could at least introduce me to Maddie Crump. Thanks in advance. -George Tipcorn

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Erna O’Hara had a pair of Yeezys in her closet. I just couldn’t resist. She says they are fine but prefers her Fila footwear. Erna, like so many her age, loves most things that are a throwback to the 90s. Personally, I also appreciate her nostalgia for the free-love, unshaven 60s. I blame my parents for letting me sleep on a waterbed throughout my adolescent years. Stay groovy.

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OMG, Becky. Today I met this really chill guy after my gender studies class. Apparently, he’s like this super famous photographer who is gonna help me out with my acting career. I showed him around campus and he took some AMAZING photos of me. You should totally see how sexy they came out. Some of them were a bit on the slutty side, but he kept saying, “It’s a brave new world, baby” or something hilarious. He can be a real kook, but he is fucking dreamy. Next week, we are planning to take some pics inside my dorm room. I hope that bitch, Kim, can put down her phone long enough to go to class!

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I want to speak directly to the people reading this who are not subscribed. You should join Zishy. We have a lot of fun here. With a membership, you can see how crappy a person’s pubic region regrows after being subjected to laser removal. Poor Adriene. She will get through this though. I am semi-confident she can find a lover who will look past such a superficial travesty. Also, if you subscribe, you will be given Adriene’s bitcoin wallet address if you wish to contribute to her pube transplant fund. A video of Adriene will be added either later tonight or tomorrow. Make friends in the comments. Z.

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You wanna bring peace to Europe, but can you bring peace to your life? Can you put down your phone long enough to play outside with your children for an hour? Can you cancel the “business” trip to Costa Rica and stay home with your family instead? Do you have the internal strength to resist Armando, your secret lover, and his warm embrace? The wife knows. She must know. Liberate yourself from the slave chains of deceit and suck Truth’s dick like tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Stella Barry is stunning. Thanks, Anthony. But maybe next time cool it with the playgrounds.

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Hello everyone. This is part one of another shoot I did in Kiev, or Kyiv, or whatever you prefer to call Ukraine’s capital, currently being shelled by Russian artillery. Obviously, these photos were taken during happier times. Regan Budimir recruited her photogenic friend to join the Zishy army. Her name is Olena Kozich. This update focuses more on tease and less on nudity, so deal with that info accordingly. More from the indoor portion will follow at some point. Hope everyone is safe and that most of this once-bustling city will remain intact. XOXO

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