I love the nature in this region. I love that there are still places where you can gather fruit and herbs straight from the wild. I love that there are unpaved roads here. I love not having a cell phone signal. I love the lakes that we swim in and pull life out of. I love the clean drinking water that literally seeps from the ground. I love calling it a night shortly after the sky darkens. I love waking when the sun begins lighting up the horizon. Whoever said it was right. I probably have gone mad, but mostly because the bulk of my life is removed from the natural elements. How about yourself? How long has it been since you plucked a wild blackberry? P.S. I fucking hate mosquitoes.

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On this Cinco de Mayo, we head south to share a picnic with Susanna Torres. She isn’t from Mexico, but do you care? Susanna is quite the ray of sunshine and is photographed here by “Pepe”, our newest contributor. Pepe used to be a shy, overweight degenerate with four children in an abusive marriage. He was always broke and unhappy. Under the tutelage of Andrew Tate’s Hustler University, Pepe started eating clean, working out, and becoming more business-minded. He eventually amassed a fortune by scamming tourists in his country, but sadly, had to abandon his family while on this journey to personal empowerment. Long story short, Pepe felt empty inside, even while driving a Ferrari F8 Spider. So over the last year, Pepe decided to reinvent himself yet again and become a respectable photographer of nude women. Congrats, Pepe. Don’t let me down.

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Hey, guys. Your favorite villain is back. That is referring to me, not Zoe Aguilar. She is a real sweetie. She never says anything controversial. She always gives reverence to anything anyone might possibly consider sacred. She does not enjoy nor advocate dark humor (dark as in tragic). Zoe is considerate and agreeable just like every woman should be. She only knows how to toe the line. As for me, now that is a different story. I have been pissing people off for as long as I can remember. There is a demon inside me. My tongue always seems to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Trust me, I don’t think it is cute, but I also can’t ditch it at this point. It has become an essential part of my brand. Help! – Donald J.

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‘Welcome to Miami, bitch’ is what Will actually told Chris right before his infamous slap. And now I understand. Miami plays by its own rules. It is in America, but barely. Surprisingly, this was my first time shooting in the city. Kelsey was around and finally without those cursed lash extensions, so I said “let’s go!” The guy on the rooftop is a random onlooker who wouldn’t give us our privacy. He wanted Kelsey’s number, but when he couldn’t get that, he solicited us for weed. Sorry, my guy. Stay tenacious.

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Just because I am no longer allowed on the property of the Texas state capitol building doesn’t mean that I won’t shoot in front of it. Meet Emberlynn Schmidt. She is cousins with another popular Zishy star, can you guess who? Her natural beauty is off the charts. People will sometimes ask if I photograph girls with tattoos. I say typically no. I don’t just shoot anyone, regardless if they have tattoos. I seek special women whose beauty transcends something as trivial as inked skin. I seek women like Emberlynn.

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Chase Jenaro shows us her definition of bodysuit teasing. She even gave us some xtra content, so that is also on its way. I recently found myself feeling unusually depressed and angry and scared. Then I realized it was probably because I had been doom-scrolling on my phone every couple hours. Remember to give yourself extended breaks from these nightmare devices. They can cause grown adults to have mental breaks over blue checkmarks. Wild. We must not forget life’s simple pleasures, such as drinking and driving, gawking at girls while at the gym, burning garbage, etc. Stay sane, folks.

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A marketing executive from Joss Industries hit me up last October requesting photographs of Miki Pedangen in one of their suits. I had them ship over a few in her size along with a hefty advance. Sadly, Joss paid in FTX token and all was for naught. However, with their permission, I am now able to publish the campaign here. I’m also including extra photos that continue Miki’s last update. This same exec now wants me to photograph Miki nude for his ‘private collection’, but I doubt she will agree. Some beauties are shy. Selah. Bitcoin only, my brothers.

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