What if I told you that Moon is a Trumper? What if I told you that she loves Biden? What if I told you that it didn’t matter who any of us support and that they are both on the same team? Two handpicked, corrupt actors chosen to guarantee that the real power stays in the same hands. The same hands that want us to hate each other and continue arguing over the topics that have divided us for centuries: racism, women’s rights, religion, etc. Don’t worry, I’m no expert. The experts are the ones controlling the flow of information. Right? Right. I just make artful smut. Women like Moon Torrance are my distraction of choice.

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Oddly enough, one of the things that I like about Sybil Kuechler is that she doesn’t try to be likable. She seems very comfortable with who she is. Having a strong desire to be liked is an abhorrent quality. We all know you really are. You are a selfish, lazy, cold-hearted fiend just like everyone else. Acting otherwise is deceitful and truly despicable. I love you how you are. April Fools.

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Kylie Shay and her partner are pretty goddamn cool. They showed me around downtown Memphis and we ate some burgers… I think. I can’t remember. I was distracted by Kylie’s amazing features. The waitress that served us caught Kylie’s attention, but it turns out Kylie gets shy when it comes to approaching other women. See girls, it’s not so easy. Is it? Oh and in case you didn’t see, I added a bonus video to Thursday’s update of Meleida. Follow me on Twitter to stay up to date with Zishy news. @realzishy

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Let this serve as a warning. I am going to make you sick of Jezebel Madd, if that is possible. Here is the first part of a morning with this exuberant being shot in small-town Pennsylvania. She had to clean her car out due to something spilling in the backseat. I couldn’t help but photograph the process. I pride myself on always staying productive. Then, we got some breakfast and walked around exploring the neighborhood. Part two tomorrow.

Here is the second part of my idyllic morning with Jezebel. There will be a part three that continues in her bedroom, but that will drop much later. Don’t worry. It will be worth the wait. And remember, I am always available to photograph your beautiful & wild friend/lover/sister/cousin/mother whenever she is ready to be admired by thousands. Have a great weekend.

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Sure, she’s not the type of girl you want to marry. Gia Ohmy would probably have you volunteering for the Foreign Legion weeks after tying the knot. But the first few nights would be bliss. How could they not? Gia has curves that theoretical physicists have trouble explaining. And in actuality, she might very well be a good kid. Gia’s just like the majority of humans: pleasant in real life, but cat-shit crazy when interacting online. I will try and get you folks a bonus video tomorrow.

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River Lynn is a super soldier that walks this earth disguised as a college student turned porn star. I made a triumphant return to Venice Beach after being banned for my stance on fried Oreos. This adventure with River reminded me why I love Venice. I photographed her extensively, often redundantly, so there will be a part two. It could come tomorrow, or possibly a year from now. Ya never know with an incompetent Harvard grad like myself. Stay tooned.

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